Voices
by Raiden Miosaki
Summary: After Gilbert is dissolved as a country, disappearing, and leaving Matthew on his own... all he has left is the sound of Gilbert's voice playing back through his head like a broken record. How much of this can Matthew take?


I lay there. The only sound I hear is the sound of the fan softly blowing through the house.

I leave it on throughout the day.

I can't take silence anymore. If I'm left in silence, I start to hear it. I start to hear _them. _

The voices.

The taunting voices.

I need to drown them out.

Therefore, I always have some sort of noise in my house, whether it be the fan, or the ticking of the clock on my wall.

After awhile, the clock started to haunt me too.

_Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock…_

That's the sound… the sound of life slipping away every second. It reminded me of the one person I was trying to forget.

But how could I forget him…when he was the only person who'd ever cared about me?

The only person who remembered me… who strove to speak to me everyday. To be there for me everyday.

I couldn't ignore the fact that he was gone.

How I tried… how I tried to forget those red eyes… and white hair… that… extremely memorable laugh.

The way he would always try to get me out of the house.

The way he'd grab my hand, pulling me out into the cold hard world. He took me out, and showed me that it wasn't as horrible as I'd made it out to be.

He protected me.

And I loved him.

I still love him.

As I sit here… staring blankly at the wall.

I watch the tiny streams of light trying to make their way through the screen.

That's the only source of light in the house.

I don't care about seeing.

What do I have left to want to see… if he's not here to see it with me?

I remember his parting words as his country was dissolved.

They were to me.

To _me _out of all people.

He made his way out here to speak to me before he disappeared.

Those were the words that haunted me.

The words that played through my head, constantly, as I sat there, watching the time tick away.

"I love you, Mattie" he'd said.

And he kissed me.

He gently placed his hand on my cheek, and he kissed me.

Over all the years, that had been my first kiss.

I cried.

Those had been the words I had wanted to say to him.

He pressed his forehead against mine, smiling a sad smile, tears running down his cheeks as well.

"Don't cry, Mattie." He'd said.

"Please don't cry."

But his words had been to no avail.

I sobbed.

He let me cry.

He held me against him, and stroked my hair softly.

"I promise we'll see each again someday."

And soon after those words, he was gone.

He was just… gone.

I sobbed harder.

I couldn't stop.

Now here I am.

It's been month since that day.

I haven't had human contact since.

I waited… I waited for someone to rescue me from this never ending nightmare.

But no one came.

Alfred didn't come.

Arthur didn't come.

Papa didn't come.

No one cared.

They'd forgotten me. In their minds, I never existed.

I'm not waiting anymore.

I don't know what I'm waiting for.

I stopped believing that things would change.

Things would get better. Thats what I'd thought..

But they didn't get better.

And I know somewhere in my heart that things never _will _get better.

"I miss you, Gilbert." I say.

I'd hear his voice in my head again.

But after I say something back to him, I realize he wasn't there.

No matter how many times that voice played through my head, he would never be there.

All I heard were his last few words he said to me. They kept replaying like a broken record.

And they'd never stop.

They'd always be there to haunt me. No matter how much I try to drown it out with other sounds, his voice is always playing in the back of my mind.

I stare at the wall again.

I watch more seconds on the clock tick away.

I look down to my side, and I see the bottle of pills that I keep beside me.

I can't sleep without them. Without sleep, I imagine I'd been more crazy then I already am.

I stare at the door.

Almost half wishing to see my brother burst through it, talking about how heroic he was.

But he didn't.

Hope was useless. Pointless.

My eyes linger back over to the pills. I pick up the bottle, unscrewing the lid.

'I promise we'll see each other again someday.'

Someday…

Someday…

_Someday._

I pour a large amount of pills into my hand, and I start swallowing them.

First one by one, then two at a time…three…four… repeat.

That day… that "someday" Gilbert had mentioned.

It was going to be sooner than he'd thought.

. . .

The blonde haired boy looked around the library in which he sat in.

He looked up, and saw Arthur buried in a book of Fairytales.

"Britain, dude!" America spoke up to get his attention.

Arthur gave an aggravated sigh.

"What is it, Alfred?"

There was a silence between them.

"Lately… do you ever feel like… something is missing?" The confused American asked him.

Arthur was alarmed at first to hear Alfred asking a question that actually sounded serious for once, but once he actually thought about the question he had asked him, he nodded.

"Yes, I suppose I have been feeling that way lately."

Another silence.

"…Do you have any idea what that something is?" Alfred asked.

The older country thought about it for a moment, and then shook his head.

"It's probably nothing, Alfred."

And with this he went back to his book.

Alfred thought about it silently for a moment, and then shrugged it off completely, within minutes, giving up, figuring Arthur was right.

He had no idea that the "something missing" was his own younger brother.

**A/N: This is a oneshot I wrote for some fans of mine on one of my Hetalia Roleplay pages. .w. I'm not super proud of it, but I thought I'd just put it out there~! Thanks for reading, and please review if you have the time, or something to say about it. Thank you again, and I'll see you guys next time I write something.**


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